On breaking the cycle of unlove and barriers to loving neighbors

This started out as a comment to the March 10 Jesus Creed Questions of the Week and spilled over into How do we become better neighbors? And then it got bigger than comment-length and practically demanded its own post (well, at least that’s the story I’m going with). 

I've been reading Scot McKnight’s 40 Days Living the Jesus Creed for Lent. The discussions we've had around that study, along with other events in my life, inspired the post on how we, as a church, can become better neighbors. 

Two of the daily reflections from the book – First Move of Love and Boundary-breaking Love – provided more food for thought on how we might become better neighbors.

McKnight talks about cycles of "unlove" that can get in the way of loving one another and the challenges of breaking that cycle. I thought about cycles of unlove I need to break (there are a few) and cycles we might need to tackle in our neighborhoods. Living in a suburb of Washington, DC, I’m also acutely aware of a glaring cycle of unlove in the way this country has become so polarized politically. Many of us are directly in that crossfire. 

The issues facing this country have been buried in name-calling and vilification of the “other side.” Those with differing views are seen as the enemies of truth, justice, and the American way and are portrayed with caricatures that suck the humanity out of them. There’s no room for a reasoned debate, much less dialogue exploring options or, God forbid, a constructive compromise. That's not likely to change until enough people get fed up enough to want it to change. 

I suspect we all have neighbors who feel so strongly for one side or the other that conversations on the subject are difficult (at best). In light of the commandment to love our neighbors as ourselves, how do we bridge those differences to become better neighbors? 

McKnight's reflection on boundary-breaking love offers a different way of thinking on this. He uses the story of Peter’s encounter with Cornelius in Acts 10 to illustrate ways God's love can break through the boundaries to separate us:

1. Other people are also listening for God: “The God who loves us also loves everyone else… we may love others less, but God loves them the same.” It’s hard to consider that God loves someone you consider an enemy as much as God loves you. On the other hand, it may also be hard to continue to view somebody as abhorrent if you know that God also loves them.
2. It’s natural to resist crossing our own boundaries, but we need to realize, as Peter did, that God is at work outside of our boundaries.
3. “God shows no partiality.” Peter recognized that the work of the Holy Spirit was not confined to Jews like him who followed Jesus. God broke down the notion of “privilege” Peter thought was reserved for the Jewish people.
4. God breaks down boundaries rather than creating them. The Holy Spirit was not confined to Peter’s notions. “God loves you; God loves me; God loves everyone.”

My initial thoughts are that, if both sides would understand that, we might see some constructive movement beyond the current impasses. But what if one or more sides don’t buy into this? Is it possible for one person (or one side) to break down the barriers if the other side(s) don’t want to see the barriers come down… or don’t even recognize the barriers in place? 

How can we, as followers of Jesus, break down the existing “boundaries of privilege” in order to extend God’s love and grace for others?